You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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