I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
