This is not my ceiling
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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