it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
