Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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