I just saw a hot homeless man
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
