He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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