Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
