there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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