Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
