What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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