Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
