i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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