We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
