"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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