what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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