we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.