guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.