What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am