dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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