so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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