I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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