Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am spending my child support on dildos
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize