I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The air taste purple.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
