The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
