just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
where are my eyebrows?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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