Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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