feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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