We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
