No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
