I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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