My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
