Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
