You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
