Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
God, I missed his penis.
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