But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
