She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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