Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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