She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
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Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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