and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
