I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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