apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you win again, gameday.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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