with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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