You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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