there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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