Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Still dying that you shit outside
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
