it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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