The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
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I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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