I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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