fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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