Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
