My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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