Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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