I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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