K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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