He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Randomize
