I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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