This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
