in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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