Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
